59 responses to “the vegan soundboard” RSS icon

  • You guys are fucking nuts!!!

  • this is the most awesome thing i have seen in a long, long, forever! holy shitballs!

  • CUPcakes!

    bahahahaha i love this!

  • Close, but you need to add, “DUDE, you are NOT vegan, get over it.”

  • @Brittany: THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH. you are the voice of this soundboard.

    @trishells: thanks :)

    @foodeater: duh!

  • @JohnnyZu: gah, leave your ideas for soundboard #2!

  • seriously thinking about doing an iPhone app for this….

  • i’m sorry, i’m still laughing!
    the veggie sandwich is like what i call the no no no no salad. no meat, no egg, no cheese, no dressing. uh huh.

  • @mr meaner – jonathan asked if he could download it as an app!

  • fun!

    CUPCAKES!!!!!!!!!!

  • OH MY GOD… This is the best thing ever!!!

  • Morrissey. :)

    Love this!

  • hahahaha when is the iphone app????

  • i heard she eats HONEY! THE HORROR!

    this is amazing.

  • OMG! I’m not even vegan (yet) but my vegan friends sound exactly like this. Great work, QG. This blog rocks, and you never cease to surprise us all.

  • “Atheist”

    I before E except when proudly proclaiming godlessness. ;-)

  • @ryan – shit that is embarrassing. i need to switch that out. :/

  • @ryan BTW that i before e rule is so misleading!!!! it’s not true, is it? ugh, we are teaching kids all the wrong things in school.

    “science” and “atheist” both break the rule.

  • Freaking hilarious! I love it.

  • Pleather. Pleather. Pleather. Pleather. Morrissey. ROTFL.

  • This is hilarious! Brittany’s voice and inflection are perfect!

  • oh man that is fucking awesome!!!

  • Awesome. iPhone app, definitely.

  • AWESOME!!

  • Sadly, most of the humour is lost on me since I don’t have any vegan friends or even know any vegans in LA. A few vegetarians but no vegans.

  • this is so awesome. I’m sending to all my friends! good work, quarrygirl

  • i will be the first to download this when it’s an iPhone app. yes please!

  • wow! also: vegan soundboard for l.a.?? there definitely must be a mention of:

    1. silver lake (and/or its dog park)
    2. THAI VEGAN RESTAURANTS
    3. the vinh loi tofu factory
    4. quarry girl!

  • the atheist spelling mistake has been fixed. please be awesome, and pretend it never happened!

  • you have THE BEST VEGAN BLOG. i come here everyday. THANKS.

  • This salvaged my shitty morning. We’d actually talked about making a “Vegan in Your Pocket” soundbox thing like this. Second the iPhone App idea. Holy geez. xoxo

  • omg this is flipping hilarious. i just played them all for my mom, and she was like THAT’S YOU!

  • this is such a piece of awesome. a friend just sent me a link to this and I discovered your blog. as a vegan who has just moved to LA from Seattle I cannot tell you how much I’m going to appreciate your blog, articles and blog roll. thank you thank you thank you.

    CUPCAKES!

  • This is so cool!

  • I love it! How about a sound board with all the answers to the stupid questions people ask vegans?

  • I’m a vegan blogger/baker/photographer. HAHAHA

  • too f’ing funny and too f’ing real !!!

  • (My entries for part 2)

    Daiya.
    Sea Shepherd.
    You’re not an environmentalist unless you’re vegan.

  • took the words right out of my painfully vegan mouth!

  • TheHipstersMustDie

    Ha ha! Great work with the annoying voice! So perfect! Well done!

  • I love this more than I love my family. And friends.

  • bahahaha!!! classic!

  • No, I don’t eat fish either. I’m VEGAN!

  • So let’ s take a look at other products you cannot use under any circumstance.
    All of these are made from animals.
    First few are biggies:
    - Tires : You cannot drive a vehicle, ride a bus or a bike. No transportation except walking (horses are forbidden) . And no walking on asphalt or concrete, they contain animal products. Anti- freeze, brake fluid and oil also contains animal products.
    - Plastic: Several fatty acids from animals are key ingredients in plastic. No combs to untangle your greasy hair. Your B-12 and other supplements come in plastic bottles ( read more to find out about those vitamins and supplements) , so you can’ t take them. No using those little plastic produce bags at the grocery store for your veg. Oh yeah, and since almost every thing is made out of plastic or contained by it you are shit out of luck.
    - Tooth paste and mouth wash: Cows provide a substance called glycerin that helps to fight dental plaque. The tooth brush is also mostly plastic. No wonder vegans have such horrible breath.
    - Medicine: 350 modern pharm aceuticals are made from animal products. Anything in a gel cap contains gelatin which is made from animals. Cortisone and insulin (the synthetic stuff is very expensive and hard to get) too.
    Also, Latex surgical gloves contain tallow, x- ray film contains gelatin.
    - Perfume/ cologne/ deodorant: made from whales, deer or beaver. No synthetic has ever been made to match the natural animal shit. So you’ ll have to keep smelling like a cheap whore with BO.
    -Wax paper , cellophane , cardboard and paper containers your processed foods come in is all made from animals.
    - White sugar : purified bone ash is used to refine sugar .
    - Your house or apartment: paint , wallpaper, linoleum, carpet, plywood, drywall, insulation all made from animal products, ceramic tile.
    - Furniture: foam rubber contains egg whites, wood glue contains animal products.
    - Laundry detergents , fabric softeners, disinfectants, house hold cleaners and polishes. You have to live a filthy life in filthy rags.
    - Sunscreens , soaps , shampoos, cosmetics: all contain animal products. Lotion and makeup contain lanol in which comes from sheep’ s wool.
    - Vitamins and mineral supplements: which ever vegan requires are also derived from animals.
    - Fire extinguishers: use animals products.
    - Electrical devices: Electrical circuitry is made from animal products. Your printers ink and/ or toner is also made from animal products.
    Each of you fucking vegan hypocrites uses tons of animals each year.
    Vegans do not exist . Anyone who claims to be a vegan is a smug asshole and a fucking liar. And the next time you hear someone talk about it, remind them of how they are not.

  • @ “Shut up!” – sounds like you are the smug asshole. thanks for reminding me why vegans are so much better than everyone else.

  • white ass privileged bitch. Ha ha you would have the money for all this shit.

  • @ “Shut Up” – you are a racist! What color is YOUR ass, you motherfucker?

  • yep, i received a $10.5m trust fund when i turned 21. i’ve never worked a day in my life and will never have to! sorry your life sucks.

  • I like bacon with a side of pork roll covered in pork tenderloin . . . instead of a vibrator, I use sausage.

  • fuck portland.

  • I’m black and I love my fried chicken so fuck every vegan out there. All you vegans out there are little tight ass bitches. If I could I would get my gang together and rape that fucking smile off every one of your faces.

  • yea… this is really terrible… And piggy… That food sounds very delicious :d… And brittany, you sound like a smug asshole yourself when you say that vegans are better then everyone else. They aren’t, they are no different then anyone else other then the fact their diet and lifestyle is different, that doesn’t mean your better then anyone else.

  • For next soundboard.
    - Nutritional Yeast
    - Daiya Cheese
    - Film
    - “I couldn’t date someone that eats meat.”

  • I’m using this for my phone… :D

  • Bacon, bacon, and yes… more bacon.

  • Can we get a button/automatic response for people saying “I love cheese!” as in “Oh that must be horrible for you not having cheese!!; i would be veg/vegan but I LOVE CHEESE!!” (white people)

  • Hey – that’s neato! Let’s make one for excusetarians too! We could have phrases like:
    “MEAT JUICE PLEASE!”
    “F@# the planet – my 15 kids will fix it”
    “Yer stupid!”
    “My god said I could”
    “Vegans Suck!”

    … what else?


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