Following the outpouring of disagreement following my post on Samosa House in Culver City a few weeks ago, we decided to wipe the slate clean and try again. This time, we did everything right. Rather than ordering the “combo plate” (where they put a little of everything in a container), we went completely a-la-carte.

So, we ordered the signature Jack Fruit curry, Saag (Spinach) curry, Channa Dahl (lentils), and Aloo Gobhi (potatoes and cauliflower), along with the requisite roti, and a side of basmati rice.

Maybe the staff at Samosa House recall the days of the Raj when they hear my English accent, or they hate Brits, bald people or dudes over 40. I don’t know, but when I (over-politely) asked where the jackfruit curry was, the lady said “It will be out in a five minutes!” with an expression like a bothered parent who has responded “soon” 50 times when a kid has asked “are we there yet?” from the back seat of the cay. Now, I’m not being paranoid here as she was very, very nice to the person behind me, when asked the same thing: “Oh, I’m sorry, we’re just preparing some more now. It’ll be out in two minutes. Can I get you something while you’re waiting?”.

Anyway, I decided to rise above the brush-off and to kill the waiting time browsed the aisles full of stuff I used to eat when I was only a lowly vegetarian (particularly the British chocolate – sorry, Americans, your Twix ain’t as good as ours, and that’s the way it is).

Finally, the jackfruit arrived, and we headed home with some boxes of warm curry in the trunk. After unpacking the dishes, we served ourselves to heaps of gorgeous-looking food, and settled down to a movie with a nice bottle of vegan wine.

Oh boy. Within 3 seconds I was on my way to the spice closet so I could get some TASTE into my curry. I sprinkled on curry powder and cayenne pepper, cuz I’m telling you that this food is so bland it’s an insult to the great cuisine of India.

The beans tasted like one of those complimentary side dishes you get served at a crappy Mexican restaurant while the cauliflower/potato was so overcooked that everything had turned into much and I honestly could not tell if I was eating a potato or a cauliflower. The spinach was watery (it even had a layer of green water on top of it – UGH) and finally the roti was overcooked on one side, and undercooked on the other.

Sorry, Samosa House, but you guys don’t know how to make remotely tasty Indian food and that’s a pity because you charge high prices and have a front of authenticity.