UPDATE 4/25/2011: DON’T EAT AT SWINGER’S. they put lard in “vegan” items.

I have a pet hate about places where the staff prefer to give virtually all their attention to regulars, and rudely ignore casual visitors. Once such establishment is Swingers on Beverly Blvd. Anywhere that has the message: “ass, cash or grass: nobody eats for free” pinned above the door probably has more than its fair share of pretentiousness — and I can confirm beyond doubt that is the case.

After sitting down, I usually have to wait at least five minutes to get attention, and this weekend it took over 20 minutes before our drinks arrived (a diet coke and a David Banner smoothie), all in a restaurant that had only four tables occupied (see this picture for proof, and the back of the place — not shown — was completely empty):

While frustratingly waiting I endured the regulars at the bar getting coffee top-ups galore, and three waitstaff crawling under a table to help locate a child’s toy, while we sat there hungry and thirsty.

I eventually got up to find the server who was chatting around the corner with one other server and a dude who I assumed was a customer sitting at the bar eating, yet I found out later was ANOTHER server. I nearly left, but after politely saying “we’re ready to order now” and returning to my seat after a half-acknowledgment eventually they came to take our order and the food arrived promptly thereafter.

I used to get coffee on occasion, but getting a refill is about as difficult and time consuming as visiting Costa Rica, picking the beans, leaving them for months to dry, roasting and brewing them yourself while studying for an Ph.D. in Applied Astrophysics, so I’d usually leave after having only one coffee.

This time it was David Banner all the way followed by Vegan Burrito, a most excellent combination of spinach, tofu and quinoa with black beans and a tomatoey sauce on top.

The David Banner: looks amazing, tastes even better!

Vegan Burrito: I love this thing!

There are several vegan options on the menu, including the rather interesting “vegan nachos”. sounds awful to me, but you never know. Oh, and they’re open until 2am serving beer until midnight.